Language of Desire PDF

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For a masculine man, committing to a relationship can seem like a loss of freedom, and his freedom is critically important to him. When he commits to one woman, never-ending possibilities turn into endless responsibilities. Understandably, to get a guy to commit, he has to feel ready, and he has to want this one woman – you – more than he wants his independence. Unfortunately, many women inadvertently act in ways that make him reluctant to go that final mile. So what can you do to help him get past that final hurdle and make that commitment to you. Here are some tips that might help you get to commitment:

First, if you’ve only just started in your relationship, then you shouldn’t be thinking about how to get a guy to commit. You should be checking him out to see if he is the sort of person that you would want as a long-term partner. Is he attentive, caring and mature? Does he exhibit inappropriate emotions such as jealousy, rage etc.? He may be gorgeous but that doesn’t mean he’s right for you. Don’t hand him the whole relationship on a plate early on as he will probably reject it. Let him work to get you and then he will value you and pursue you. If he doesn’t, he’s not the one. Don’t even try to get a commitment from a guy who’s not prepared to make the effort.

He may be open to a relationship but that doesn’t mean he wants it all straight away so don’t try to force it on him. He may just be after easy sex and once he has had it, he may be away. He may not even be capable of a mature, responsible relationship but he is taking what you give while it lasts and once it stops he is gone. These are more reasons why you should take your time and get to know him before you look for commitment.

He will have his own agenda and his own time line for your relationship and they may not match yours. You can tell him what you want but you can’t force him to want the same. Guys generally take much longer to make a decision about whether to commit than women. If you’ve only been in the relationship a few weeks or months, then you shouldn’t be trying to force the issue. On the other hand, if you’ve been in the relationship a few years, then perhaps it’s time to talk.

For a man to want to commit, he must feel good in your relationship. This means that you accept him for who he is and are not trying to change him. You allow him plenty of space to do his own thing without you and give him time to miss you. You allow him to be emotionally open with you and you don’t criticize him or react over- emotionally. You don’t judge him, mother him, manipulate or control him. You also respect him as well as yourself, appreciate and admire him and show him love and affection. If your guy is slow to commit, then make sure you are giving him these things. Remember how attached he is to his freedom? If you don’t have these in your relationship, then he may already feel like the cage door is half closed. No wonder he doesn’t want to help you throw away the key.